Mama had said that we could change the words we had spoken. We had tried to do that. Even after rephrasing what we had said to each other, couching it in less incendiary words, we were both left with deep differences in our core beliefs. I needed more assurance than Shirley was willing to give. I needed her trust and some promise of future understanding. She believed I could just control all my thoughts, and my bodily reactions. In fact, she really believed I wouldn't have had these thoughts and reactions, in the first place, not if I truly cared about her. I tried to explain to her that it wasn't a head or a heart reaction I'd had when I was in Brenda's presence. I also told her that I hadn't been the one who was seeking out Brenda. I certainly hadn't been trying to put myself in a location where I'd simply have to see her, which is what Shirley believed.We didn't fight, or yell at each other. There really wasn't that much outward emotion being displayed while we patiently discussed. AnneMarie, being a local, would most likely have an idea about how to start, and she did.We started out at a local gymnasium, a training center for athletes and pugilists, and although we were unable to make our purchase there, we were directed to a larger establishment where we were assured of our ability to do so. We traveled thence and were greeted by a rather decrepit gentleman who seemed to breathe through the mangled and extinct cigar he chewed upon. A most colorful individual, he was also most helpful, especially once I convinced him of my desire by making a substantial cash down payment.My purchase was of all the equipment for the manly art of fisticuffs, or boxing. Most specifically, I purchased to take with me a pair of boxing gloves, which I had wrapped nicely. Further, I ordered for delivery to our Saratoga Springs home a second pair of gloves, along with the various ropes and posts and contraptions necessary for James to have an official boxing ring erected. At that most.
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